Rooted Rhythms: Life Lessons from the Underwear Drawer

One school morning my son came downstairs dressed like he was planning to sneak in a nap between math and gym class. Teeth brushed, hair combed, backpack ready—looking totally put together… except for the fact that he was still rocking his pyjama bottoms. And the school bus was already rumbling its way down the street.

I tried the calm-but-urgent mom voice: “Buddy, pants. Now.”He froze. Completely panicked.

I repeated my instructions, but he froze again, fists clenched, eyes wide.

“What’s the problem?” I asked.

“I… I have no underwear.”

“Okay… you mean no clean underwear, right?”

“…Yes.”

“The pair you’ve got on now will have to do. Now hurry up.”

He scrunched his face, grunting in disbelief. “I can’t wear yesterday’s underwear!”

I tried to reason with him fast:“Any pee stains?”“No.”“Any poop stains?”“NO!”“Then they’re fine. Go change quickly.”

“But what about when I get home?”

“What do you think?”

Cue the horror. “I’ll have to do laundry???”

“Yep, welcome to growing up, bud. Let’s go!”

He made it on the bus—phew. And by the end of that day, he had washed, dried, folded, and proudly stocked his drawer with clean underwear. From then on, keeping that drawer full became his own sacred routine.

That morning reminded me of something: raising an autistic child means routines are everything. When they unravel—even over something as small as underwear—it can feel like balance goes right out the window. Some days, I’m juggling responsibilities, emotions, and the quiet whisper of my own needs, and balance feels like something only other moms have figured out.

But here’s what I’ve learned: balance isn’t about keeping life neat and tidy. It’s about finding rhythms that keep us grounded. Sometimes that rhythm is a bedtime candle, a cup of tea, or a walk outside. And sometimes it’s realizing that even if the underwear situation isn’t perfect, we’re still okay.

Because balance doesn’t always mean clean laundry. Sometimes it just means showing up, rooted and real, for the moment in front of you.

Staying Grounded When Everything’s Falling Apart

When life feels like it’s spinning too fast, I try to lean into rhythm instead of rigidity. Some days that rhythm is soft and simple—lighting a candle, taking a quiet forest walk with my dog, or pausing long enough to breathe in the steam from a mug of herbal tea. These little rituals remind me that even in chaos, I can choose calm. They aren’t grand or complicated, but they create small anchors in the middle of busy, unpredictable days.

Other times, rhythm looks more like structure. For me and my son, that might mean cooking dinner together, getting daily exercise, or planning the week to provide comfort and predictability. It’s not about perfection—it’s about creating just enough stability to keep us both afloat. I’ve learned that when I let go of rigid expectations and focus on rhythms instead, the day feels less like a battle and more like something we can move through together.

Raising an autistic son has shown me, over and over, that balance isn’t about squeezing life into a neat little box. It’s about listening—to him, to my body, and to the quiet nudges of my own soul. And then taking action instead of saying “maybe tomorrow.” That mix of listening and doing is what roots me, and it’s where I find grace—even on the days that feel completely upside down.

Lessons From My Journey

• Balance is Seasonal, Not Static. What worked last week—or last month—might not work today. And that’s okay. Life flows, and so do we.

• Rhythms Ground Us. Little routines become anchors in uncertain waters—for both me and my son.

• Presence Is Enough. I used to think balance meant “doing it all.” Now I know it’s about showing up, rooted and real, in each moment.

  
  

Finding balance doesn’t mean eliminating chaos. It’s about creating rooted rhythms that give us space to breathe, adjust, and still shine. My son continues to be my greatest teacher in this. Through him, I’ve learned that balance isn’t a destination—it’s a dance: one step rooted in love, the next guided by trust.

And maybe that’s all balance really is: showing up, fully present, one moment at a time—even if your underwear isn’t perfect.

Here’s to finding your rhythm and remembering you don’t have to do it perfectly—just Rooted, Radiant, and Real.

XO Andrea

Intuitive Healer | Spiritual Teacher | Artist